Secret Sisters Program

Is his alcohol use overwhelming your life?

Is your life spiraling due to your husband's drinking?

Have you let everything else in your life fall by the wayside because of it....including yourself?

If you're here, there's a good chance you've already tried to "do the right things."

You've prayed more. You've read the books. You've listened to the podcasts.

And after all of it, you still feel exhausted, emotionally raw, and stuck in the same place.

I understand, because I've been exactly where you are.

I spent years trying to manage my husband's addiction completely on my own — and I paid a real price for that, in many ways.

And after walking alongside hundreds of women in this same place, I know something else too: I know exactly where you're going to want to give up. I know the moments that trips most women up.

I know the way through. And I built this to walk it with you. 🫶🏻

Why this is still so hard, when you're trying everything

You've prayed. You've read the books. You've listened to the podcasts. You've probably Googled the same questions more times than you can count, at 2am, looking for the thing that would finally make this make sense.

And here's the truth no one tells you: you might already know what you're "supposed" to do....

Set the boundary. Detach with love. Stop trying to control what was never yours to control.

You have access to more information now than you've ever had in your life, but you still feel so stuck.

Because when the stressful moments actually come you feel total loss of control....

🔹Maybe your chest tightens and your mind goes completely blank — your body has gone into survival mode, and the thinking part of your brain just isn't online right now.

🔹Maybe you remember the idea, but not the words, not the steps, not how to actually do it.

🔹Maybe you remember all of it, and you're just too depleted to follow through one more time.

🔹Maybe you hear yourself saying the same thing you swore you wouldn't say again — and it's already out of your mouth before you can stop it.

Or maybe some part of you still believes that if you just try hard enough, love hard enough, you can fix this — even though you know, somewhere deeper, that you can't.

That's not a failure of effort, or a failure of faith.

Knowing is one thing. Doing is everything — and almost nothing out there is built to help you close that gap, in the actual moment it matters.

That's what the Secret Sisters Circle was built to do. Not just give you more to know.

The goal isn't just to understand why you're stuck. It's to become the woman who sets a boundary and holds it. who can hear him open a bottle and not immediately unravel, who knows what to do and can actually do it, and who finds her way back to herself - and to God - even while she's still in the middle of all of this.

Start My Free 7 Days →

WHAT IF THINGS COULD BE DIFFERENT?

What if, instead of barely hanging on… you could finally breathe again?

✨ You wake up and your body doesn’t feel clenched before the day even starts. The knot in your stomach has softened, and you’re not immediately bracing for what might happen. Something still happens — maybe he drinks, maybe tension rises — but instead of spiraling, you’re able to steady yourself before reacting.

✨ You don’t feel that same rush of panic in your chest. You’re not replaying every conversation for hours, wondering if you handled it wrong. You begin to trust your responses. You know when to speak and when to stay quiet — not out of fear, but from a place of clarity.

✨ You start setting boundaries that actually protect your peace, without the constant guilt and second-guessing. And instead of carrying everything alone in your head, you have somewhere to go — a place that helps you process what’s happening in real time, so it doesn’t keep building inside of you.

✨ Even your faith begins to feel different… less like something you’re trying to hold onto, and more like something that’s holding you.

✨ Your circumstances may not have fully changed yet — but you have. You feel steadier, clearer, more grounded in who you are and how you to show up....for yourself *and* those around you.

You'll learn plenty here — but more than that, you'll also be given what you need to actually live it out.

And for the first time in a long time, you can feel it: You’re going to be okay.

Not all at once. Not perfectly. But you're getting there.... through one small, supported step at a time.

My Husband Got Sober. Here's What I Want You to Know.

My husband got sober. He's stayed sober. And we're still married, almost ten years later.

I didn't have support like this — and looking back, I sure wish I had. I white-knuckled my way through so much of it completely alone, and it totally broke me.

But when I finally started my own healing journey it made a real difference, not just in how I held up, but in what we were able to rebuild together.

And that's why I built the Secret Sisters Circle.

I share that not to promise you the same outcome — every marriage, every man, every story is different, and there's no guaranteed result here. But I've watched it happen for SSC members too, in all kinds of situations and timelines.

In fact, some of the goodbyes I get aren't women giving up — they're women whose husbands got sober, and who no longer need the support they came here for. That's the kind of "loss" I celebrate every time.

✨ Sometimes the work you do here leads to real change in him.

Always, it leads to real change in you.

Start My Free 7 Days →

What Members are Saying

a wonderful program

“My husband has been sober for 2 months now and things are much better in our lives. This group was such a Godsend when I truly needed it. The lessons were very helpful and having the secret sister community was so comforting and helpful during some dark days of my life. This is a wonderful program. Thank you so much!”

after 25 years

a wonderful program

"Having a place to go and just feel seen and not alone was so important. Also learning to disconnect from my husband’s addiction was huge for me after 25 years of codependency.

I think my boundaries were what finally pushed my husband to seek help. He is now in counseling and on medication for his depression and has not had a drink in a few weeks."

we are on the mend

a wonderful program

we are on the mend

"This program taught me so much about myself, my husband, and our marriage. Everything here allowed me to create boundaries and communicate my struggles with him. This led to rock bottom in our marriage, which has now turned into healing. We are on the mend! You're doing a wonderful thing!"

A small sample of what the ssc covers

A WHOLE LIBRARY OF PRACTICAL GUIDANCE BUILT SPECIFICALLY FOR YOUR SITUATION. HERE'S JUST A GLIMPSE.

Am I the Crazy One?? — because gaslighting is real — and this lesson walks you through the specific ways it can show up in a marriage affected by addiction

Understanding Your Part In This — not a generic look at codependency, but a specific, honest exploration of the dynamic between a wife and her alcoholic husband

Kids and Addiction — because watching your children navigate this too may be the heaviest part of it, and this lesson speaks to that specific burden in a way generic advice never will

'Fake' Recovery — you've probably lived this without ever having a name for it....and once you do, everything starts to make more sense

Family, Friends, Intrusion, and Advice — the specific guidance most resources don't give, built around the unique dynamic of being the wife

What is God doing?! — the question most wives are afraid to ask out loud, answered honestly from someone who asked it herself

How to Deal with Lying and Deceit — specific, honest guidance, from someone who has lived it and watched hundreds of other wives navigate it too

Stay or Leave? — a guided framework for thinking through the question most resources oversimplify — including the angles and considerations most women haven't thought through yet

Different Ways This Could All Play Out — a clear-eyed, faith-grounded look at every direction I have seen this go — so you're not navigating the future blindly

Experiencing Grief — because grief doesn't wait for something to be over — and the losses inside this marriage deserve to be acknowledged

Acceptance: What It Is, and What It Isn't — one of the most misunderstood concepts in this journey — and one of the most freeing when you finally get it right

Making Big Decisions — a faith-rooted process for the decisions that feel impossible — built to help you think clearly when everything around you feels like too much

🧰 Plus a full Toolbox of practical, faith-based tools you can reach for in the hardest moments — built for real-time use, for real-time results.

And SO MUCH MORE — all organized in a way that makes it easy to know exactly where to go next.

Start My Free 7 Days →

The Secret Sisters Circle includes....

DETAILED HELP RIGHT WHEN YOU NEED IT — THE LESSON LIBRARY

Every lesson and tool in the SSC was built for a specific moment you're actually living.

When he lies and you don't know how to respond.

When you feel yourself getting triggered and can't calm down.

When you're about to say something you'll regret.

When real life happens....you can go straight to the SSC and find guidance that was built specifically for that moment — by someone who has lived it, and watched hundreds of other wives navigate it too.

Not general advice. Not abstract principles. Not a quick answer pulled from somewhere that doesn't know your story.

Real, specific direction for the realities of being his wife — available whenever you need it, at your own pace, with no deadlines and no pressure to keep up.

The lesson library lives on a private, members-only platform. You take only what you need, when your heart is ready.

Because when your world feels upside down, you don't need one more thing to keep up with.

You need something that actually knows your story — and was built specifically for it.

CLEAR DIRECTION AND SUPPORT — ROADMAPS AND ROOMS

When you log in, you won’t be wondering where to start.

Your first stops are rooms meant to hold you and all you have been carrying:

The Quiet Room — when your spirit needs rest, you go here and find an audio to quiet your mind and soothe your heart.

The Grounding Room — when your thoughts are spiraling, you go here and follow one simple prompt to bring yourself back.

From there you can choose a Targeted Roadmap that speaks to what you need right now. These Roadmaps give you a clear, numbered path so you always know your next small step — no overwhelm, and no guesswork about what to do first.

Because when your heart is heavy and your mind is spinning, sometimes the most powerful thing is simply knowing what to do next.

WORKSHEETS AND EXERCISES TO MOVE YOU FORWARD

It’s one thing to hear truth that stirs your heart. It’s another to know how to actually live it out in the middle of your personal, painful reality.

The SSC worksheets, exercises, and reflection prompts are gentle guides — not homework assignments — built to help you take what you’re learning and apply it gently to your marriage, your emotions, and your day-to-day challenges.

One question at a time, one short reflection, whenever you feel ready. Whether you print them or fill them out digitally, they’re here to help you not just learn — but transform.

POWERFUL TOOLS for the heat of the moment — THE TOOLBOX

TOO BUSY TO WATCH THE LESSONS? LISTEN TO THE PRIVATE AUDIO FEED

One of the most cherished features inside the Circle is the Toolbox — a collection of practical, faith-centered tools designed specifically for the moments when you don’t know what to do and you need something to reach for right now.

Instead of freezing, spiraling, or reacting in a way you’ll regret later you'll be able to take empowered action that you feel confident about, and that will actually help your situation instead of fueling it.

These aren't just strategies—they’re lifelines for the exact kind of chaos you're living in.

THE SECRET SISTERS PRIVATE online GROUP

TOO BUSY TO WATCH THE LESSONS? LISTEN TO THE PRIVATE AUDIO FEED

When you feel unseen and unknown, the private group reminds you: you are truly known, and you are not alone.

This isn’t just a group. It’s a circle of faith-filled women who truly get it — who know what it’s like to carry the weight of a loved one’s addiction, and who are walking toward healing, hope, and God’s strength together.

You don’t have to post to belong. You don’t have to be ‘ready’ to connect. Simply being there — reading, listening, pausing — means you’re part of a circle that sees you, hears you, and cares.

You can also join under a different name or nickname, with no photo ever required — so you can be seen and supported without ever feeling exposed.

Group participation is always optional.

You do not have to join the group to access everything else inside. But when you’re ready — it’s there, and it’s unlike anything else you’ll find.

TOO BUSY TO WATCH THE LESSONS? LISTEN TO THE PRIVATE AUDIO FEED

Life doesn’t slow down just because your heart is heavy.

That’s exactly why every SSC teaching is also available through a private, podcast-style audio feed — so you can receive encouragement, truth, and practical guidance right in the middle of your real life.

Whether you’re walking the dog with tears in your eyes, driving to work with a prayer on your lips, or getting ready for another day of trying to hold it all together — you can bring the hope and strength of the SSC with you.

Because sometimes, hearing the right words at the right moment can change everything.

what is the cost?

Access to everything in the Secret Sisters Circle is $34 per month.

I know $34 might feel like a big ask right now — especially if every dollar already has somewhere else it's supposed to go.

So let me put it in real terms: it's about the same as one fast-food meal for your family, once a month. That's it. That's the whole monthly cost.

But what it actually buys you isn't a meal that's gone in twenty minutes.

It's steady, faith-centered support — built specifically for the wife of an alcoholic, not generic advice pulled from somewhere else — that's there with you at 2am when your thoughts won't stop, in the car when you're holding back tears, and in the moment right after something happens and you don't know what to do.

Picture your life a year from now if nothing changes.

Now picture it a year from now if you finally had somewhere steady to bring all of this — if your home felt a little calmer, your kids felt a little more of your peace instead of your panic, and you finally stopped carrying all of it completely alone.

That's what's actually on the table here. Not just a program.

A different path for you — and potentially for your whole household. 🩷

Also please know that your privacy is protected the entire way. Billing shows up discreetly on your statement as 'Women's Ministries'.

And you can choose to participate in the support group anonymously....or not at all and still have access to everything else.

You can also cancel anytime.

Most wives of alcoholics have already spent far more than $34 trying to find some help that actually moves the needle — but have instead ended up with books that didn't quite fit, counselors who meant well but didn't fully get it, or hours and hours searching for answers that never ended up helping that much.

✨ This is the thing you've been looking for — and it's the start of something actually different.

Start My Free 7 Days →

why nothing else has worked - and why this does

You already know the gap between knowing and doing isn't really about effort. Let's talk about why....

Most support options expect you to take action right away — to think clearly, make good decisions, and respond calmly.

But when you’re living in this kind of stress, your body doesn’t work that way.

You can’t just “do better” when you feel overwhelmed. You can’t absorb information when your mind is spinning. You can’t respond with clarity when your system is on edge.

That's not a failure on your part. It's how you're wired after months or even years of constant stress from being the wife of an alcoholic.

✨ I know, because I lived it too — and no amount of reading or research alone ever got me out of panic mode. It took something different.

That’s why the Secret Sisters Circle is structured differently.

Instead of pushing you to figure everything out, it helps you steady yourself first — so your body can come out of that constant state of tension.

From there, you begin to feel more grounded in the moment, so you’re not immediately reacting when things happen. And from that place, you’re able to choose what you actually need, instead of trying to do everything at once.

This is why so many women say, “For the first time… this actually feels doable.”

✨ This isn’t something you have to figure out all at once.
It’s something you come back to — in real time, when hard moments hit.

more member testimonials

WISH I HAD JOINED SOONER

"I wish I had joined sooner.

I was hesitant because I wasn't sure online support would be enough. However, the videos and daily chats are amazing.

I also appreciate that when I am struggling in a certain moment or situation, I have access to content right away, and I feel less alone."

A huge eye-opener for me

WISH I HAD JOINED SOONER

”I was very caught up in my husband's addiction and didn't realize how much I was letting it completely run our lives. SSC helped me learn what boundaries are, how to put them in place and stand by them. It helped me detach more from the addiction, so I could actually be more myself and help my kids through our rough spots. It was a huge eye opener for me all the way around and was a huge blessing.

SSC is something I have told multiple friends about who are in similar situations to my because the community and trainings are so amazing. This dropped into my life just as I was giving up hope in everything and was about to leave my fiance because of addiction; now we are on a much better path in our faith and together, but as individuals. Thank you so much!”

Was in such a dark place

WISH I HAD JOINED SOONER

Was in such a dark place

"I just wanted to send you an email and say that your program is literally changing my life... when I first started I will admit that I didn't think it could help me. I didn't think anything could help me and I was in SUCH a dark place!

God is literally transforming my heart and mind through this program and the tools. Thank you!!!"

Incredibly thankful

I feel so comfortable here

Was in such a dark place

“I just need to say how incredibly thankful I am for this group. From the teachings to the incredibly gracious people, this has been the only thing that has actually been a consistent, helpful thing.

I am amazed at how quickly people who haven’t been in the trenches of alcohol start giving “encouragement” that is nothing more than I am sorry or “praying for you” but they don’t want to continue to be there to stand with you IN it. It can be very lonely.

I appreciate that if I need a place to come and vent, to be encouraged, to have people actually pray, care and love, I know I can come here and there are sisters who will be there. Thankful and blessed by all of you.”

I feel so comfortable here

“I am new. I can't believe how much the tools are already helping me not only with my husband but with any stressful situation. I feel so comfortable here, there is no pressure and I am not being judged and that feels amazing. The tools and podcasts have made me realize that I am important and that I need to make myself a priority. I know that I found this group for a reason and I am so glad I did....Thank You”

How will all of this actually help me??

Living with addiction doesn't just overwhelm your thoughts — it puts your whole body on high alert. You've been bracing for a long time. Running on adrenaline and willpower. Trying to figure out what to do next while you're already running on empty.

The Secret Sisters Circle doesn't assume you're ready to jump straight into content. It begins by helping you slow down and reset first — because a body that's been on high alert for months or years can't absorb or apply what it hasn't had space to receive.

From there, it walks you through what actually matters for your specific situation — not in a generic "here's how to handle addiction" way, but in the specific, honest, faith-rooted way that only comes from someone who has lived this life and walked alongside hundreds of other wives through it.

✨The change that happens here is the kind that actually holds.

You stop absorbing his bad day as your own emergency. You have a hard conversation and don't spend the next three days recovering from it. You find yourself reaching for something real in the hard moments instead of just white-knuckling through them alone.

That's what this is — real support for the real moments, from someone who actually knows this life.

FAQs

Q: Is this for me?

Q: How is this different from alanon?

Q: How does it work?

A: This is for any woman married to a man whose drinking is negatively affecting her marriage or her life*.

There’s no schedule, no checklist, no right way to participate. You belong here exactly as you are, whether you visit once a week or once a month, whether you read every lesson or just take one small step.

(*The only exception is women who are in an abusive relationship. If there is any type of abuse taking place in your marriage I encourage you to get to a safe environment first and foremost.)

Q: How does it work?

Q: How is this different from alanon?

Q: How does it work?

A: The program is housed on an easy-to-use private online platform. You would simply log into the platform to go through the content, tools, activities, etc. It is very user-friendly and self-explanatory, and there is no completion deadline on anything.

The private group is also online.

Q: How is this different from alanon?

Q: how much does this cost, and how is it billed?

A: The SSC is not a 12-step program.

12-step programs are not for everyone, and Alanon is not for everyone either (it wasn't really a good fit for me).

The Secret Sisters Circle is also perfect for those who need more detailed guidance and direction since it offers easily accessible resources on demand.

And last, but certainly not least, the Secret Sisters Circle is geared towards Christian women who acknowledge Jesus as Lord of their lives, as opposed to just a 'higher power'.

Q: how much does this cost, and how is it billed?

A: Membership is $34/month with no minimum commitment — cancel anytime, no questions asked.

Your first 7 days are free, so you can experience everything inside the SSC before you're charged a thing.

The charge will appear discreetly on your statement as 'Women's Ministries.' It is also suggested that you sign up with an email address that only you have access to since that is where the log-in credentials for the program will be sent.

Q: Is the program private inside?

Q: how much does this cost, and how is it billed?

Q: how much of a time commitment is this?

A: Yes, this program is private. Once you log into the program that area is completely your own.

The private group is only visible to other members, and is *not* on a social media platform.

Q: how much of a time commitment is this?

Q: how much does this cost, and how is it billed?

Q: how much of a time commitment is this?

A: You can move through the SSC content at a pace that is comfortable for you. There is no deadline or schedule for anything.

You take only what you need, at your own pace.

Q: Is there a minimum number of months?

A: There is not any minimum monthly commitment required, although it is recommended that you remain in the program long enough to get the benefit from it, of course.

That being said, you can cancel at any time.

YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO CARRY THIS ALONE

If nothing changes, tomorrow looks a lot like today — the same exhaustion, the same replaying of conversations, the same wondering what you should have done differently.

You don't have to keep guessing. You don't have to keep searching for the right answer on your own, hoping the next thing you read finally makes a real difference.

Real help exists — not just more to know, but real support to help you actually live it out, right when it's hardest. And it's ready for you now, exactly where you are.

I white-knuckled my way through so much of my husband's addiction completely alone, and it totally broke me.

I built the Secret Sisters Circle because I didn't want that for you.

I'd be honored to meet you inside.

In His Grace,

Julie

Please note the following:

-This program is not meant for those in an abusive relationship. If there is even the possibility of any sort of abuse in your situation you need to get to a safe place first and foremost.

-Every situation/person/marriage is different so there is no specific outcome or result guaranteed from this program.

Start My Free 7 Days →

Married to Addiction is a faith-based online support platform for Christian wives of alcoholics, founded by Julie Sanford.

It offers a podcast, blog, digital resources, and the Secret Sisters Circle — a private program for Christian women navigating a husband's alcoholism. All resources are grounded in biblical faith and designed for women who want support that no one else in their life has to know about.

TERMS OF USE: All the information on this website (https://www.marriedtoaddiction.com) is published in good faith and for general information purpose only. The information contained here is based solely on my own experiences. I am not a licensed professional. Married to Addiction/Julie Sanford does not make any warranties or claims about the completeness, reliability or accuracy of this information. Any action you take upon the information you find on this website (Married to Addiction), is strictly at your own risk. Married to Addiction/Julie Sanford will not be liable for any losses and/or damages in connection with the use of this website, or the information contained herein. By using this website, you hereby agree these terms of use.

Looking for real answers — or wondering why nothing you've tried has worked? This is for you.

Is his alcohol use overwhelming your life?

Why this is still so hard, when you're trying everything

WHAT IF THINGS COULD BE DIFFERENT?

My Husband Got Sober. Here's What I Want You to Know.

What Members are Saying

a wonderful program

a wonderful program

a wonderful program

after 25 years

a wonderful program

a wonderful program

we are on the mend

a wonderful program

we are on the mend

A small sample of what the ssc covers

A WHOLE LIBRARY OF PRACTICAL GUIDANCE BUILT SPECIFICALLY FOR YOUR SITUATION. HERE'S JUST A GLIMPSE.

The Secret Sisters Circle includes....

DETAILED HELP RIGHT WHEN YOU NEED IT — THE LESSON LIBRARY

CLEAR DIRECTION AND SUPPORT — ROADMAPS AND ROOMS

WORKSHEETS AND EXERCISES TO MOVE YOU FORWARD

POWERFUL TOOLS for the heat of the moment — THE TOOLBOX

TOO BUSY TO WATCH THE LESSONS? LISTEN TO THE PRIVATE AUDIO FEED

THE SECRET SISTERS PRIVATE online GROUP

TOO BUSY TO WATCH THE LESSONS? LISTEN TO THE PRIVATE AUDIO FEED

TOO BUSY TO WATCH THE LESSONS? LISTEN TO THE PRIVATE AUDIO FEED

TOO BUSY TO WATCH THE LESSONS? LISTEN TO THE PRIVATE AUDIO FEED

TOO BUSY TO WATCH THE LESSONS? LISTEN TO THE PRIVATE AUDIO FEED

TOO BUSY TO WATCH THE LESSONS? LISTEN TO THE PRIVATE AUDIO FEED

what is the cost?

why nothing else has worked - and why this does

more member testimonials

WISH I HAD JOINED SOONER

WISH I HAD JOINED SOONER

WISH I HAD JOINED SOONER

A huge eye-opener for me

WISH I HAD JOINED SOONER

WISH I HAD JOINED SOONER

Was in such a dark place

WISH I HAD JOINED SOONER

Was in such a dark place

Incredibly thankful

I feel so comfortable here

Was in such a dark place

I feel so comfortable here

I feel so comfortable here

I feel so comfortable here

It's Real-Life Guidance for Real-Life Challenges -- by someone who's walked through this too.

How will all of this actually *help* me??

When you’re ready to feel steadier in your day-to-day you can start here…

FAQs

Q: Is this for me?

Q: How is this different from alanon?

Q: How does it work?

Q: How does it work?

Q: How is this different from alanon?

Q: How does it work?

Q: How is this different from alanon?

Q: How is this different from alanon?

Q: how much does this cost, and how is it billed?

Q: how much does this cost, and how is it billed?

Q: how much does this cost, and how is it billed?

Q: how much does this cost, and how is it billed?

Q: Is the program private inside?

Q: how much does this cost, and how is it billed?

Q: how much of a time commitment is this?

Q: how much of a time commitment is this?

Q: how much does this cost, and how is it billed?

Q: how much of a time commitment is this?

Q: Is there a minimum number of months?

Q: Is there a minimum number of months?

Q: Is there a minimum number of months?

YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO CARRY THIS ALONE

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How will all of this actually help me??